I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
