Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
