we have officially lost it.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
