Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
