And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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