I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
