That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
