I am puke
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
