i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize