the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
