my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
