Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
My bed smells like the plague
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
