No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
