well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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