it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
