i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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