Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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