That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Randomize
