You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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