in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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