I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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