i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
