Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
