At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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