Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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