I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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