you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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