bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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