I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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