Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
