Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
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