I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
