you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
