My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
