It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
