she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
