New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
