Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I know her cup size but not her name....
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
