He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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