forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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