her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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