he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
