i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
