Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
