he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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