It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
