I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm like, not good at living.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
