we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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