did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
