id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
i need to put some appletini on your dick
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
